Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

41st Southeastern Writers Workshop: Contests with Cash Prizes!!!







All attendees of the 41st Southeastern Writers Workshop are eligible to enter our many contests.  And you can write just about anything you want: novels, short fiction, essays, funny stories, true stories, stories with a Southern flair, stories set in other worlds!  And best of all....

There is MONEY to be WON !!!


Contests include:
  • The Hal Bernard Memorial Award for Novel 
  • The GT Youngblood Short Fiction Award
  • The Vega Award for Speculative Short Fiction 
  • The Julie L. Cannon Award
  • The Bill Westhead Memorial Award
  • The Angel Award for Holiday Seasonal Writing
  • The ThomasMax “You are Published” Contest
  • The Award for Excellence in Inspirational Writing
  • The Humor Award 


Contests are open to attendees ONLY.  Click here to learn more and to register.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Writing Fiction




Disclaimer:  It is all Lee Clevenger’s fault.

For years I built my writing platform. I began with smaller items in women’s magazines, lessons for Christian weeklies, interviews for local newspapers, and feature writing for collections and anthologies.  I took classes from wonderful professionals like Cec Murphey, Terry Kay, Bob Mayer, C. Hope Clark, and Deborah Blum.

After years of writing for media and because everyone in my writing circle had one, I too wrote a book. My first book contained information that I had garnered in writing short articles for other media. Plus, I added new research and my own experience in the world of ministry, parenting, grandparenting, leadership, and marriage. I included quotes from authorities plus questions and exercises. In short, I poured my heart into that first volume. With a modicum of success, I quickly followed it with another manuscript.

In between times I hired an agent. We parted friends. I hired another. Let’s just say, we parted. Finally, I met someone who believed in me and liked my books. Voila! A match made in heaven. Since that time, I have enjoyed working for that beloved editor. Don’t get me wrong. I loved this type of writing and I want to keep doing it for the rest of my life.

However, along came a contest. It was the You are Published contest offered by Thomas Maxx, Lee Clevenger’s publishing company. I had toyed with the idea of entering before, but that was all. I never got beyond thinking about it.  This year in a moment of ‘dare I call it inspiration’ I resurrected some characters that I created years ago. Through the years when I had nothing better to do, I would place a character in a situation and see what happened. I liked my cast but wasn’t sure what to do with them.

In thinking about the contest, I decided to take a bizarre situation and insert my zany cast, stir the pot, and allow my pseudo-detectives to take over. I tricked it out with a pinch of intrigue, a slathering of humor, and a lot of southern charm. The end product was fun to do, but would others like it? I had a friend I was communicating with concerning SWA. Since she was an editor of cozy mysteries, I decided to run it by her. A few hours later, she wrote back that she loved my story and wanted three more – to publish!

Long story short. That’s how Murder at Golden Palms was born. Clara, Roxy, Amy, Suzy, and Hattie breathed life. They began walking around in my life, talking, plotting, and appearing in my dreams. My editor at Take Me Away books sent mock ups of covers for me to approve. I swooned. This was heady stuff.

Later (with the help of my marvelous writing buddy), I added Murder at Sea to the mix. By this time the first mystery had been included in a collection which gave me more exposure and added to my excitement.

Finally, I understood what my fiction novelist friends experienced. Fiction is great therapy. There’s hard work and research involved, but manipulating your characters by putting them in danger and in insane situations is fun. 

So consider this is a warning! I’ve drunk the fiction writer’s Kool Aid and I want more.








Sheila Hudson's work has appeared in Chocolate for a Woman's Soul series, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Patchwork Path, From the Heart, Vols. 1 & 2, plus numerous periodicals including Costumer Magazine. She established Bright Ideas to bring hope and inspiration through the written word.  Sheila has also served as president of Southeastern Writers Association.  Read more about Sheila on her website.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

A Former Possum Queen, Miss Cow Patty Cotillion 2005, and a Writer Walk into the SWA Conference...



“But I’m due at the SWA writer’s conference in two days,” I whined in the E.R. as the evil nurse slapped a hospital bracelet on my wrist and kick-started my IV pole. Wouldn’t you know it? Struck down in my prime by a bowl of… coldhearted blackberry cobbler? 

That was last time. This year I’m happy to report I made it to St. Simon’s Island and came away with more than when I left home—gotta love that new Michelin radial. As the bonafide “Mistress of Mayhem” and budding humor writer, I rely heavily on personal experiences for inspiration. Predictably, the SWA Conference provided me with plenty of material—albeit at my own expense. For you newbies I recommend this wonderful workshop and have included some helpful items for your conference checklist. In addition to the usual arsenal of pens, notebooks, and IPad, I suggest the following: 

 A Spare Tire


This will come in handy when you have a blow-out five minutes into your conference adventure leaving you stranded on the highway like metallic road-kill. Don’t forget your phone, AAA card, and some kindling and matches for those smoke signals you’ll be sending while awaiting help. “I’m sitting underneath a big palm tree,” does little to help you out in Florida.

Your Best Karaoke Get-up


Hand gestures are also crucial, (sorry, no sock puppets) as are your talented back-up singers who must be able to read acronyms and groove in sync while belting out, Harper Valley P.T.A. And while the moves from the famed “chicken dance” are entertaining, they can scream, “America’s Got No Talent.” 

Shoes 


Nine pairs of “matching” shoes should do it – matching shoes. While considering swing dancing confident you’ve packed the perfect clodhoppers keep in mind, donning a stiletto with a stylish flip-flop, even if they’re the same color, won’t make you the conference twinkle toes.

Mr. Magoo Cheaters 


If a bout of “temporary vanity” strikes and you decide to insert your contacts before being suddenly called to read your writing masterpiece aloud, pandemonium will surely ensue. This is complicated when one lens goes loosey-goosey and the other gums up, gluing both eyelids together. You’re guaranteed to wander your hotel cockeyed and dependent upon the kindness of the first unfortunate stranger you can grab. Thank-you Linda Joyce for agreeing to channel your inner Annie Sullivan.

An Open Mind


While pitching your book to the literary god of the north, (the prospective agent) and she suggests you’re better suited for You Tube, bear in mind, “There’s no crying in writer’s conferences.”

 “Depends” 


These are essential while laughing yourself silly over lunch with your new BFFs following your fifth glass of sweet tea while pondering your upcoming YouTube debut.

Heading home with my first-place certificates proudly riding shotgun on the adjacent seat I realized I’d gained more than valuable writing skills and my awards, I’d acquired a wonderful support group whose motto truly is, “Writers Helping Writers.” Lord help them. Remember, when all else fails, just add humor. Until next year…





Mellie Justad writes humorous stories about everyday life. her work has appeared in anthologies, NYMB on Being a Mom, NYMB on Sex, The Storyteller, Smile, American Humor, Parenting Plus, New England Writers Journal, and online: Midlife Boulevard, Midlife Collage, Dew on the Kudzu, and Muscadine Lines. Please visit her at justadshumor.com